I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
