Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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