Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
