so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
