hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
