Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
