My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
