Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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