that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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