More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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