Apparently you make a good broom.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
