elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
