careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
he shaved USA in his pubs
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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