One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
