Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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