I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
