ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
