I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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