ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
