the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
