Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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