i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
