question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
