Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize