miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
