Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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