david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
