Your face is a jimmy john
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
