i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
