how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
you didnt know i had herpes?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
