perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize