Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I bet he comes in French.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
