At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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