the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
