I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
