do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
