omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
