Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
