used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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