WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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