He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
