The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Randomize
