Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
