There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
