he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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