I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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