I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
