Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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