Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
