Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
