i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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