i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i used baking grease as lip gloss
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
