I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
