She's JV to your varsity
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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