This girl is more easily done than said...
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
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