The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize