She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
