How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
