Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
