every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
